Susan Patton’s “Straight Talk,” Gender-Swapped.

So Susan Patton’s tremendously damaging, tremendously sexist letter to the Wall Street Journal is still making the rounds. Though it’s easier, thankfully, to find any one of a dozen more-popular and smarter articles calling her out than it is to find her original piece.

Everyone’s weighing in and there seems to be no need to add to the yelling. So, my commentary will just take the form of reprinting a few choice highlights of the original letter here, with all of the genders swapped. I’ve also swapped sex (the only worthwhile thing women have to offer, according to prejudiced morons) with commitment (the only worthwhile thing men have to offer, according to prejudiced morons).

If there’s a litmus test out there for just what an offensively bigoted job she’s done, it’s this. Is it rampantly sexist if you swap the pronouns? If so, then it’s rampantly sexist already.


Another Valentine’s Day. Another night spent ordering in sushi for one and mooning over “Breaking Bad” reruns. Smarten up, gentlemen.

Despite all of the focus on professional advancement, for most of you the cornerstone of your future happiness will be the woman you marry. […] What are you waiting for? You’re not getting any younger, but the competition for the women you’d be interested in marrying most definitely is.

Think about it: If you spend the first 10 years out of college focused entirely on building your career, when you finally get around to looking for a wife you’ll be in your 30s, competing with men in their 20s. 


You should be spending far more time planning for your wife than for your career—and you should start doing so much sooner than you think. This is especially the case if you are a man with exceptionally good academic credentials, aiming for corporate stardom.[…]those women who are as well-educated as you are often interested in younger, less challenging men.

Could you marry a woman who isn’t your intellectual or professional equal? Sure. But the likelihood is that it will be frustrating to be with someone who just can’t keep up with you or your friends. When the conversation turns to Jean Cocteau or Henrik Ibsen, the Bayeux Tapestry or Noam Chomsky, you won’t find that glazed look that comes over her face at all appealing. And if you start to earn more than she does? Forget about it. Very few women have egos that can endure what they will see as a form of defeminization.

So what’s a smart boy to do? Start looking early and stop wasting time dating women who aren’t good for you: bad girls, crazy girls and married women.


When you find a good woman, take it slow. Serious commitment is irresistible to women, but the smart move is not to give it away. If you offer stability without sex, the incentive to fuck is eliminated. The grandfatherly message of yesterday is still true today: women won’t buy the cow if the milk is free.

Can you meet brilliant, marriageable women after college? Yes, but just not that many of them. Once you’re living off campus and in the real world, you’ll be stunned by how smart the women are not. 


Not all men want marriage or fatherhood, but if you do, you have to start listening to your gut and avoid falling for the P.C. feminist line that has misled so many young men for years.[…] Don’t let anyone tell you that these traditional roles are retrograde; they are perfectly natural and even wonderful. And if you fail to identify “the one” while you’re in college, don’t worry—there’s always graduate school.

Mr. Patton is the author of “Marry Smart: Advice for Finding ‘The One.’ ” And may or may not be hosting a popular series of Pickup Artist seminars.

I hope you’re as offended by this as I am. I feel filthy just retyping it. If this is the bullshit women are learning in the ivy league, our daughters would be better served by not going–even though, by Patton’s admission, everyone outside the university is a glaze-eyed Neanderthal who knows nothing about the Bayeux Tapestry and is therefore less of a person.

Oh, brother. Or in this case, oh, sister.


2 thoughts on “Susan Patton’s “Straight Talk,” Gender-Swapped.

  1. I loooove how you swapped the pronouns!! Absolutely perfect way to expose the bigotry and sexism at play here. This article is just an insult to women and all we have fought for. Thank you for your great and timely critique!

  2. This is brilliant! I love the idea of swapping the genders in this. If you couldn’t already tell that it was horribly sexist (I would be pretty worried if that was the case…) this makes it perfectly clear. I think that it would also help some men to understand the pressures that many women face. Thanks for sharing!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s